I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
