Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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