I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
