Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
