no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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