there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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