Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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