I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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