clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
