I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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