I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
home. puking in laundry basket.
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You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
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My day in three words: secret purse cake
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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