I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
