i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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