He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dignity is for republicans.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
