The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
