I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
