We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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