the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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