You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The air was thick with penises
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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