I smell stomach acid.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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