i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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