did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
