we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
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can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
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I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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