so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
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Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
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He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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