I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
