normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
