I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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