Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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