Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
