You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
