sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
