so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
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Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
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Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize