Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
