I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
