Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
