I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
