There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
