The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
3pm strippers are depressing
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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