yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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