just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize