Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
