I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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