So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
