They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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