We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
