3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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