I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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