There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.