We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
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He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
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Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible