I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Are we still banned from the library?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.