i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
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Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.