How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia