i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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