Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You were trust falling into bushes
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
