I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
