i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
