took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
