My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
