Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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