Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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