i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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