wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
