he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
there is glitter all over my balls
there is puke in my bra ... again
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