Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
