i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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