she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
