I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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