forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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