so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
