He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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