In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize