It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
