in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
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okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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