yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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